So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
