I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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