I didn't shave. On purpose
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Drunk is a universal language darling
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