operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
