i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So much rum. So many feels.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
