Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
