In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
