so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
