I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Michael Bay diarrhea
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
