Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
