I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
