we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
