Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
