I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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