if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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