New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
