And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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