My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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