sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
