Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
