Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
