Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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