Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
