OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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