i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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