Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
