I hate all girls vehemently.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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