Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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