I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
