remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
