Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
