I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
