I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
