are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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