hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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