You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
