hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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