paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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