oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
