Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
