If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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