took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
