If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
