All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
