We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
