I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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