If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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