In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
