just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
