Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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